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I don't want to sleep with you anymore

North Beach, San Francisco, California

It's been a lot of fun. You always make interesting noises and never smell bad. There's this glow about you that's heavenly, especially at night. You are slender, fit, and sexy.

Your elegance is astounding and you always understand me. You are so fun to touch and play with. You have a great sense of humor. When I turn you on, I never want to turn you off.

You are great company and are always there when I need you, but I need you too much. It's not you, it's me.

It's hard for me to get out of bed when you're sleeping with me. I can't control my urges around you. It's amazing, but I think we have to end it. I cant let myself be distracted by you anymore.

It's over.

Dear iPhone, from now on, you can sleep on the couch.